Oh, Glory Be! California's Finest National Guardsmen Conscripted to Guard... a Post Office?
By Vixen Vile, Published 5 hours ago
Well, well, well, if it isn't the grand spectacle of the California National Guard being called upon to protect what we all hold dear: a federal post office. Yes, you heard right, readers. In a time where one would think our military might would be reserved for things like, oh, I don't know, actual threats, they've been summoned to guard our beloved postal parcels.
Because apparently, 300 strong men and women, trained in the arts of war and peacekeeping, are absolutely essential to ensure that our mail doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Oh, the horror! Imagine the chaos if our bills were to arrive even a second late!
And here we thought the greatest threat to America was in some faraway land, but no, it turns out it's right here, in our very own Los Angeles. It's not terrorists or foreign invasions we should fear, but disgruntled former employees with a vendetta against the sorting machines. Thank heavens for our valiant National Guard, the unsung heroes of junk mail protection.
