Kenyan Literary Giant Refuses English: Now Accepts Interpretive Dance Only
By Poppy Posh, Published 1 day ago
In an audacious display of cultural integrity, our Kenyan literary colossus has decided that the English language, with all its verbosity and charm, simply does not suffice for the depth of his prose. Instead, he now communicates through interpretive dance, a medium known for its clarity and precision in conveying nuanced literary themes.
Publishers, once clamoring for his next opus, are now faced with the task of translating the latest in African literature into something decipherable to the common reader. One can only imagine the editorial meetings discussing the intricacies of translating dance moves into plot points.
Naturally, fans are elated, because what could be more engaging than watching an author flail about in an attempt to describe the socio-political dynamics of post-colonial Africa? The literary world braces itself for the inevitable review: "Two thumbs up for the portrayal of the protagonist's internal struggle through a series of pirouettes."
Let us raise a glass (of whatever fine wine you uncivilized heathens drink) to this brave new world of literature, where words are but a distant memory, and the future is literally written in the stars... or at least, in the convoluted choreography of an interpretive dance.
