Trump's Budget Cuts Leave U.S. Scientists Searching for Intellectual Alms Abroad
By Sage Snipe, Published 1 day ago
In a move that would make Nero proud, the U.S. government, under the divine guidance of President Trump, has decided that science is just a fancy word for witchcraft, and thus, unnecessary. America's labs, once the hallowed halls of innovation, are now as barren as Trump's head.
The global scientific community, known for its love of dramatic exits, is now staging an exodus that would make Moses blush. As the U.S. shuns its own brainiacs, researchers worldwide are dusting off their resumes, not out of desperation, but with the glee of a child who just discovered the joy of throwing a tantrum in public.
Picture this: the world's brightest minds, instead of being courted by the once-mighty U.S., are now akin to street performers, juggling knowledge for the amusement of other nations. The promise of a green card is replaced by the allure of a free lunch and a lab coat with a few less holes.
And so, America watches as its scientific pre-eminence crumbles like a cookie in a child's fist, leaving nothing but crumbs of what was once a banquet of brilliance. The global research community snickers, knowing that the U.S. might soon find itself begging for scraps at the table of international science.
