France Bans Smoking Outdoors! Next Up: Banning the Air We Breathe!
By Dr. Quack Quirke, Published 1 day ago
Ah, France, the land of love, berets, and now, suffocating irony! In a world where we must all live forever, the French have decreed: no smoking outdoors, lest the skies themselves turn cancerous! Starting July 1, smokers will be exiled from the realms of public parks and beaches, their only solace the sacred sanctuary of cafes, where the nicotine demons can still frolic.
Picture this: a once free nation now policed by the vape-puff vigilantes, lurking in the bushes, waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting smoker enjoying a moment of existential dread with their Gauloises. The fine? A crisp 135 euros, because nothing says 'we care about your health' like emptying your pockets!
But do not despair, dear smokers; the cafes remain a sanctuary, a bastion of rebellion where you can puff away your sorrows. One can only imagine the next ban: perhaps the air itself will be deemed too dangerous, and we'll all be forced to breathe through state-sanctioned straws. Vive la liberté? More like Vive la lunacy!
