President Trump's Crypto Scheme: "Orange Coin" or "Orange Prison Jumpsuit"?
By Vixen Vile, Published 4 hours ago
You know what they say, when life hands you lemons, you open a lemonade stand, right? Well, President Trump must have taken that advice a bit too literally, because now he's trying to sell us lemons in the form of his $Trump memecoin. Yes, America's favorite orange-faced, tiny-handed golf enthusiast has decided that his next grift will be in the murky waters of cryptocurrency, prompting ethics experts everywhere to reach for the nearest bottle of antacid.
The ethics community, always a beacon of buzzkill, is up in arms, screaming about how this could possibly lead to influence peddling, because apparently, people would rather buy virtual currency than vote. I mean, why bother with the tedious task of democracy when you can just toss a few coins at the Donald? And here I thought we were out of all the nickels and dimes to throw at him after the failed Trump Tower Moscow and Trump Steaks.
Oh, but it gets better. Critics are calling this new venture a "Roadmap for Corruption," because when you have a president whose idea of conflict of interest is more like a conflict buffet, what could possibly go wrong? The slogan for this new crypto caper should be, "Invest in Trump, because your money will be just as virtual as his reality show." If there's any justice in the universe, this will end with Trump not in a mansion, but wearing an orange jumpsuit, pondering what went wrong with his genius plan, probably still claiming it's the best coin ever, folks, believe me, the best.
