iPhone 17 Rumors: Battery Life So Bad, It's a Self-Inflicted Power Outage
By Gizmo Gizzard, Published 2 days ago
Alright, tech junkies, gather 'round your half-charged relics because the iPhone 17 is here to save us from the scourge of actual battery longevity! Feast your eyes on the *innovative* power-saving mode, where your phone powers off to conserve battery. Who needs continuous uptime when you can have intermittent blackouts at key moments?
And let's not skimp on the "cutting-edge" camera tech! Prepare to capture memories in such superb detail that you can pinpoint the exact moment your phone's battery gave up during the shot. This, dear readers, is the pinnacle of photographic genius; the so-called "Battery Cam" will take you on a journey through the landscape of dying power cells.
And the pièce de résistance: the price tag. Apple, ever the trendsetter, is set to outpace inflation with an exorbitant cost that would make even the most lavish royalty gasp. Picture this: selling your kidneys on the dark web just to afford a device that's essentially a flashy doorstop. Because if there's one thing the tech overlords excel at, it's making sure the price is as exorbitant as the promises they break.
