TeleMessage App Implodes After Hacking Scandal Rocks Trump's Chats
By Gizmo Gizzard, Published Published 2025-05-05
Here we go again, folks! Another day, another tech debacle, but this time, it's a real doozy involving none other than the sage of security, Mike Waltz. TeleMessage, the app presumably used by him to archive his group chats-because heaven forbid his inner thoughts remain unpreserved for posterity-has suspended all services.
Apparently, hackers discovered that TeleMessage was about as secure as a screen door on a submarine. In a world where data breaches are more common than common sense, you'd think these tech wizards would've figured out that maybe, just maybe, encrypting messages might be a good idea.
But no, instead, we're left with the digital equivalent of a diary left open on a coffee shop table. Now, Waltz's precious chats are more accessible than a public restroom at a truck stop. It's like these apps are designed by interns who think "password123" is the pinnacle of cybersecurity.
So here's to TeleMessage, the app that couldn't secure a message if it came with its own bodyguard. Maybe next time, they'll invest in something more robust than a 'password' field with a default value of 'password'. What a world we live in, where even our digital whispers are at the mercy of tech's most inept.
