Trump Postpones EU Tariff Tantrum to July 9
By Vixen Vile, Published 1 day ago
What a heartwarming display of diplomacy, or rather, a masterclass in procrastination from our beloved President Trump. In a stroke of sheer benevolence, he's decided to give Europe another six weeks before plunging their economy into a tailspin. Oh, what a charmer, giving Ursula Von der Leyen until July 9 to conjure up some magic deal out of thin air.
Ursula, bless her heart, described the conversation as a "good call." I bet she was just giddy with joy, knowing she has until July 9 to negotiate with someone whose negotiating tactic involves tweeting tariffs like they're going out of style. Just imagine her, practicing her best "Please, Mr. President, no tariffs" face while her team frantically tries to figure out how to make lemonade out of this sour tariff lemon.
And let's not forget the real gem here - Trump's magnanimity. He could have thrown Europe into the economic deep end right away, but no, he's giving them time to suffer in suspense. It's like a cat playing with a mouse, except this cat has nuclear codes and the mouse has a GDP. By July 9, we might just see Ursula walking away with a deal that makes Trump look like a genius or, more likely, she'll be slapped with tariffs so high they'll make the Berlin Wall look like a speed bump.
