Germany's Merz Offers Ukraine Missiles to Play Global Thermonuclear War
By Vixen Vile, Published 1 day ago
Ah, the old "I'll give you the missiles, you take the blame" gambit. German Chancellor Friedrich Merz, in an act of diplomatic martyrdom, has pledged to assist Ukraine in crafting long-range missiles designed to reach Russia. Because, let's face it, who needs peace when you can have an exciting game of "who can provoke Russia first?"
Apparently, the Kyiv government, in a desperate bid to outdo the West's sanctions game, has decided that conventional warfare is too passé. Merz, ever the generous leader, sees this as a chance for Germany to flex its military-industrial complex without getting its own hands dirty. Just imagine the headlines when Ukraine inevitably tests its new toys: "Germany Shrugs Innocently as World Trembles."
It's a bold strategy, one might say. Instead of focusing on peace talks or diplomatic solutions, we're opting for an escalation of tensions that could rival the plot twists of a poorly written spy thriller. And let's not forget the economic benefits of arming Ukraine with missiles; it's like selling them shovels during a gold rush, only the gold is nuclear fallout and the shovels are highly explosive.
