Chime's Near-Death Experience: A Financial Soap Opera
By Rex 'The Wrecker' Malone, Published Published 2025-06-12
Back in the good ol' days of 2016, Chime was so broke, it could've made a hobo look like a billionaire. Over 100 VCs, those so-called vultures of venture capital, turned their noses up at this now-unicorn like it was the financial equivalent of a dumpster fire. But lo and behold, one seed VC, with a mix of blind faith and a couple of loose screws, decided to throw Chime a lifeline.
Now, let's fast forward to today, when Chime, in a move that reeks of cosmic irony, decides to IPO at a staggering $14.5 billion. Those VCs who once snubbed it must be kicking themselves harder than a gambler who just lost his rent money at the roulette table. But hey, isn't this just the stock market? Where fortunes flip like pancakes at a greasy diner.
And let's not forget the irony: Chime, a company that nearly went kaput, is now thriving on the very financial blood that once refused to pump through its veins. It's like a financial Lazarus, rising from the grave to stick it to those who doubted it. And maybe, just maybe, it's a lesson in perseverance, or maybe it's just a good old-fashioned middle finger to the naysayers.
