U.S. Lobs Missiles at Iran, Markets Yawn and Check Their Portfolios
By Rex 'The Wrecker' Malone, Published 5 hours ago
Well, lookie here, folks, while Uncle Sam is busy slinging fireworks over Tehran, the global markets are too busy sipping on their lattes and checking their 401(k)s. Ain't that a kick in the head?
Instead of being thrown into a tizzy by the geopolitical ping-pong match, Wall Street's got its poker face on, playing it cool as a cucumber. Those Iranians are probably going, "Please, sir, may I have another?" Meanwhile, traders in their swanky suits are more worried about their stock portfolios than any global cataclysm.
Here we are, with strategists saying, "It's all under control, just a few fireworks to light up the night." I guess when the world's on fire, it's just another day at the office for these financial wizards. They probably think, "Eh, who needs stability when we've got our spreadsheets to lean on?"
Forget the sky falling, folks; as long as the Dow is stable, it's all just background noise. Next thing you know, they'll be trading oil futures while dodging shrapnel. It's like the whole world's a stage, and the markets are just there, arms crossed, like a surly teenager saying, "Whatever, Dad."
