NB.1.8.1: The Latest Excuse to Not Talk to Your In-Laws
By Dr. Quack Quirke, Published 7 hours ago
Ah, the new COVID variant, dubbed NB.1.8.1-or as I've come to call it, "the razor blade throat escapade." If you thought your family's constant bickering was giving you heart palpitations, wait until your throat feels like a cheese grater. Picture it: sipping soup, but instead of soothing, every spoonful feels like acid rain. Ah, the joys of modern virology!
This variant brings the kind of pain that makes you feel nostalgic for the good old days when the worst thing was a slight fever and loss of smell. Now, your throat has become a battleground for mutant viruses, and the razor blades are their weaponry. It's like your body has become a villain's lair from a Bond movie, only instead of diamonds, it's strewn with tiny, viral razors.
Well, folks, if you survive this diabolical encounter, I suggest you celebrate by throwing a party for one. Because even if you do recover, your voice might sound like a frog doing karaoke after a night of heavy drinking. And remember, while the throat razors might eventually dull, the memories will linger, ensuring your family visits are a bit more...entertaining next time around.
