'Strawberry moon' set to dazzle, because we've run out of fresh ideas, apparently
By Sage Snipe, Published 2 days ago
Oh, feast your jaded eyes on the magnificent "Strawberry Moon," where science and lunacy converge into a spectacle so bland, it's almost exciting. A celestial event where the moon looks eerily like it did last month, but this time, it's got a new hashtag and a sponsored fruit flavor.
Gather round, o ye weary, as the cosmic powers we so desperately seek to understand throw us this bone, this "lunar standstill," a phrase that sounds vaguely like a pub crawl route for sad scientists. They promise us a night of mystical illumination, yet here we stand, dazzled by nothing more than a giant floating dairy product in the sky, bathed in the sallow glow of our own earthly pretensions.
In a world where we've vacuumed the stars and given them Instagram filters, here's a little pat on the back for humanity's latest achievement: renaming something that happens all the time. Gather round, let's revel in our intellectual progress, where the most significant event is literally named after a breakfast pastry, and we're expected to fall over ourselves in awe.
