Governor Nutcase Noem Nearly Pops Her Cork Over Clams!
By Vixen Vile, Published 8 hours ago
In an utterly laughable turn of events, the ever-so-qualified Kristi Noem, now the Homeland Security Secretary, has managed to secure herself a first-class trip to the hospital. Yes, the woman whose greatest contribution to American security seems to be ensuring our nation's shellfish are safe, found herself on the wrong end of a seafood platter.
You'd think someone in charge of keeping the homeland secure would at least have the sense not to order a dish that could potentially end her illustrious career. But no, Noem thought, 'Why not risk national security for a taste of the ocean's bounty?'
And what a spectacle it must have been, watching Noem being carted off, probably still clutching her cocktail sauce like a lifeline. Sources say she was allergic to the attention as much as the clams. One can only imagine the chaos at the hospital as doctors tried to decide which was more dangerous - her allergy or her incompetence.
In conclusion, if our national security depends on Kristi Noem staying away from the buffet line, we might want to consider a new strategy. Perhaps next time, she'll stick to ordering a salad, and we can all breathe a little easier knowing the security of our nation isn't at the mercy of her gastronomic choices.
