IDF Investigates "Civilian Harm" Because Apparently They Forgot Where They Aimed Their Guns
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published 11 hours ago
Well, I'll be darned, if it ain't a prime example of learning on the job. The IDF, bless their pointed little hats, has decided to peer under the magnifying glass of "reports of harm to civilians" after finding a few hundred bodies in the wake of their latest aid distribution. Now, I've seen my share of cover-ups, from the pea-sized to the mammoth, but this one might just require a Zamboni to smooth over.
Let's not mince words, friends. When your battlefield charity event leads to a casualty count that rivals the attendance of a medium-sized rock concert, it might be time to recalibrate the generosity index. According to the IDF, "instructions had been issued to forces after 'lessons learned'", which I'm guessing is military jargon for "whoops, we'll try to kill fewer folks next time, promise!"
In this twisted universe where bombing is billed as humanitarian aid, one can't help but wonder about the fine line between distributing food and distributing bullets. But hey, who am I to judge? I'm just a hack scratching out a living in the rubble of global irony. Next thing you know, they'll be offering to play violin at the funerals.
