Paramount's Pocketbook Plunders Plummeting Profits to Please Pretender's Profligate Proclivities
By Poppy Posh, Published 13 hours ago
One might presume that Paramount's pocketbook has been plundered by a preposterously prodigal president, for what reason, pray tell, would they forfeit a sixteen-million-dollar sum to Donald Trump? Ah, but this is no mere pecuniary transaction, it's a preposterous pageant of pandering to the petulant pretender's penchant for profligacy.
The saga unfolds with an interview of Kamala Harris by the stalwart soldiers of 60 Minutes, during which, unbeknownst to the world, a spectral figure lurked, gnashing teeth at the thought of being upstaged. Yes, Trump, in all his garish glory, demanded recompense for what he deemed a travesty of television time, a slight so egregious that only cold, hard cash could soothe his ruffled feathers.
Paramount, in a display of either lunacy or legal lethargy, acquiesced to this absurd arbitration. One can only imagine the boardroom meeting, where executives, donning their finest sackcloth and ashes, debated whether to bow to this ludicrous litigation or to stand firm, only to decide to throw their fiscal integrity to the wind. And so, without an apology, without regret, they've paid homage to the Trumpian tantrum, proving once again that in the realm of the rich, reason is but a distant memory, and dignity is doled out in dollar signs.
