Diego Luna Literally Carries USMNT Over Guatemala's Head, Into Gold Cup Final
By Blitz Baxter, Published Published 2025-07-03
You'd think the USMNT was playing a game of hot potato with a grenade instead of a soccer ball, barely scraping by Guatemala, a team so low-ranked FIFA might have thought they were a youth squad. Diego Luna, a man who seems to have forgotten his passport on the field, became the unlikely hero, carrying the team on his back into the Gold Cup final.
Was it skill or sheer luck? Who cares, right? Guatemala probably thought they were just here for a friendly match, not a tournament where the USMNT was supposed to assert dominance. But no, our boys had other plans, like playing keep-away with the ball and making it look like they were auditioning for a circus act, not a soccer game.
And let's give a round of applause for the fans who didn't lose their voices screaming in disbelief as the USMNT fumbled their way through the game. It's like watching your grandpa try to use a smartphone for the first time-adorable but painful. But hey, a win's a win, and Diego Luna's heroics will be the stuff of legends, or at least a good laugh for the rest of us.
