Trump Snubs Merkel, Sends Her Into Greek Debt-Induced Sobfest
By Vixen Vile, Published Published 2025-07-03
In a stunning display of mature diplomacy, former German Chancellor Angela Merkel has revealed that President Trump not only has the emotional depth of a garden gnome but also a handshake etiquette akin to a toddler playing hide-and-seek. Merkel, who apparently moonlights as a professional crier, admitted that Trump's refusal to acknowledge her existence in front of cameras was the nail in the coffin of her already tear-soaked tenure.
Perhaps Merkel was seeking attention herself, because nothing says, "Look at me, I'm important!" like weeping over the Greek debt crisis, which, let's be honest, was just an elaborate game of musical chairs where Greece was always left without a seat. Trump, ever the charmer, decided the best response was to treat her like a ghost at a White House séance.
And here we are, folks, witnessing the delicate art of political foreplay where not shaking hands is now foreplay. If Merkel thought that was shocking, imagine her horror when she realizes that Trump's version of diplomacy is essentially sending mean tweets and playing chicken with global stability. At this rate, Merkel might want to invest in waterproof mascara.
