Journalism Finally Takes the Gold, Beats a Dead Horse to the Finish Line at Preakness 2025!
By Blitz Baxter, Published 4 days ago
Talk about a slow start! Here's Journalism, stumbling out of the gate like a high school kid on prom night, but then, in true dramatic fashion, gets its second wind and gallops to victory. Oh, the sweet irony, beating the absolute dead equine to the wire at the Preakness 2025! Who would've thought the horse we'd all written off, literally, would win?
In a race where most anticipated Big Pharma and Tech Titans to lead the pack, Journalism somehow found the heart to surge ahead. Sure, it might've looked like a rerun of last year's Kentucky Derby where it fell flat, but no, today Journalism decided it was time to actually live up to its name. Did it really need to beat a horse to prove its point though?
Now, let's give a slow clap for the competitors. Fake News and Clickbait trotted along nicely but couldn't keep up with the sheer, unexpected determination of our winner. After all, nothing screams 'I'm back' quite like Journalism winning a horse race. Maybe next time, Tech Titans won't try to out-gallop their own software updates and remember the core of real news.
In conclusion, this victory might just revive the beaten spirit of the Fourth Estate. Or, Journalism could be back to playing second fiddle in the next race. Either way, we've got a winner for the books, and the headlines will write themselves. But hey, at least for today, Journalism trotted, stumbled, and then galloped right into the winner's circle. Bravo, or should we say, neigh-vy?
