Embassy Workers Bite the Dust in Museum Misadventure
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published Published 2025-05-22
Just when you thought embassy gigs were all about sipping cocktails and dodging paper cuts, two Israeli Embassy workers decided to mix it up with some real action. Shot dead outside a Jewish museum in DC, these poor saps couldn't even get their last selfies in before catching some stray bullets.
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, in an act of sheer competence, confirmed the news, probably between tweeting about her latest hairstyle or whatever security issue she's tackling today. Meanwhile, the rest of DC continued its daily grind, oblivious to the fact that the city's now doubling as the Wild West.
Now, I ain't saying these embassy folks were looking for trouble, but trouble sure found them. Were they just in the wrong place at the wrong time, or did they stumble upon some dark secret in the museum's exhibit on ancient pottery? Either way, it's a grim reminder that in this town, even a cultural outing can turn into a scene from a gangster flick.
So, let this be a lesson, kiddies. Next time you're invited to a museum, maybe stay home and binge-watch some Netflix. It's safer, and you'll still get to see plenty of drama, without the whole "bullet dodging" part. Remember, in DC, even the art can kill you.
