Greta's Green Galleon Gets Gutted by Gung-Ho GIs
By Vixen Vile, Published 4 hours ago
Ah, what a spectacle! Greta Thunberg, the pint-sized prophetess of planetary peril, has once again found herself amidst the geopolitical theatrics, this time sailing towards Gaza on what can only be described as a floating fiasco of good intentions. Our intrepid eco-warrior, usually seen scowling at world leaders or hugging trees, was intercepted by the Israeli navy. Oh, the humanity!
It seems Greta, in her infinite wisdom, thought a symbolic gesture of solidarity would make the waves in the Middle East. Instead, she's now bobbing in the Mediterranean, probably trying to read a manual on how to operate a very confused yacht that's more used to the calm waters of a Scandinavian fjord than the turbulent tides of international conflict.
The Israeli military, ever so poised with their "any means necessary" policy, likely mistook the vessel for a floating greenhouse with a rebellious teen at the helm. Can you imagine the scene? "Oh, look, it's just Greta Thunberg. Stand down, she's armed with nothing but a stern lecture on carbon footprints." And thus, the great ship of environmental justice was deflated, leaving Greta to ponder whether her next protest should involve less water and more landlocked lobbying.
