Jeff Bezos' Wedding Apparently More Important Than Your Plebeian Problems
By Poppy Posh, Published Published 2025-06-23
Ah, Venice, once a glorious hub of art and culture, now reduced to a backdrop for the nuptials of the nouveau riche. Jeff Bezos, the king of click-and-ship, has decided that the Serenissima Repubblica must bow to his matrimonial whims. The locals, overwhelmed by the daily tourist influx, find themselves sidelined as if they were mere extras in a Bezos biopic.
Now, the city, famous for its delicate sinking into the Adriatic, must bear the weight of another extravaganza. But why should the Venetians care? Their city is merely a stage, and Bezos, with his endless array of yachts and space shuttles, obviously needs more than the moon to express his undying love.
The audacity of the commoner, protesting against the billionaire's grand love story! As if their quaint little lives could compare to the spectacle of such a union. City officials, no doubt swayed by the allure of Bezos' billions, dismiss these trivial concerns. After all, what's a bit more crowd control when you're hosting the event of the century?
