"Trump Takes Victory Lap in Europe, Claims He Single-Handedly Ended Israel-Iran Spat"
By Vixen Vile, Published Published 2025-06-24
Darlings of the dark side, gather round as the orange oracle, Donald Trump, descends upon Europe, his ego inflating faster than a hot air balloon on steroids. Yes, the man whose hair defies both gravity and good taste has arrived in Amsterdam, ready to bask in the glory of a conflict he insists he resolved with a mere tweet.
Rutte, the Dutch PM, apparently forgot to take his sarcasm pills when he praised Trump's "decisive action in Iran." Perhaps he was dazzled by the reflective sheen of Trump's bronzed face or maybe he's just hoping for some of that sweet, sweet NATO funding. Either way, it's clear Rutte needs a reality check-or at least a history lesson.
Let's be real, folks, Trump's version of diplomacy involves shouting louder than a coked-up auctioneer at a livestock sale. If only world peace were as simple as claiming you fixed it while the cameras roll. Amsterdam should brace itself; not just for the sheer audacity of the man, but for the spectacle of him trying to navigate a city where cannabis is legal, and his hair might just take flight.
