Kim Jong Un's New Plan: Attract Tourists with Charm and Charm Bracelets
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published 5 hours ago
Ah, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, a nation not known for its tourism industry or its sunny beaches, has decided to leap into the modern era. Kim Jong Un, in his infinite wisdom and endless charm, has opened the Wonsan Kalma Coastal Tourist Area, a shining beacon of "Look at me, I'm just like Disneyland, but with fewer human rights."
The resort promises everything a tourist could dream of if they've never heard of TripAdvisor or basic human rights. Picture this: you're basking in the sun, sand between your toes, and the soothing sound of waves... or is that the distant echo of forced labor? Kim Jong Un has bet the farm, or rather the gulag, on this venture, believing that tourists will flock to a country where the only thing more controlled than the economy is the narrative.
Now, I can almost see the brochures: "Come to North Korea, where every day is an adventure in reeducation!" They've probably got packages like "The Dear Leader's VIP Experience," where for a modest fee, you get to meet the man himself, provided you don't ask about those pesky satellite photos of missile tests. Just remember, if you overstay your welcome, you might end up as part of the resort's permanent staff.
