Trump's Nuclear Tantrum: Experts Say "Obliterated" Just Means "Oops, We Broke Something"
By Vixen Vile, Published 4 hours ago
Well, would you look at that, folks? The Donald has taken to Twitter again with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to a china shop, claiming his strikes in Iran have "obliterated" their nuclear facilities. It's like he's playing a high-stakes game of Risk, only with real countries and actual explosions. But the so-called "experts" - bless their academic hearts - have chimed in, suggesting that perhaps, just perhaps, this diplomatic equivalent of a playground shove might not be the best way to prevent the world from turning into a smoldering crater.
These scholars, with their fancy degrees and cautious whispers, are pushing for "deliberate negotiations." Because, apparently, sitting down for a chat is the new global trend. What's next, a nuclear summit hosted by Ellen DeGeneres? Can you imagine Trump and the Ayatollah sitting on her couch, sharing stories about their favorite tweets? It's not enough that we've got a real-life doomsday clock ticking away; now we've got to add a coffee klatch to the mix.
But let's not forget, diplomacy is like a bad date: you go in hoping for the best, but usually end up arguing about who should pay the bill. And in this scenario, the bill is the future of humanity. So, while Trump plays nuclear whack-a-mole, the rest of us are left to pray that the "experts" can save us from this testosterone-fueled farce. Better buckle up, folks - the ride to Armageddon just got a lot bumpier.
