Trump's Grand Purge: Court Douses Fire with Gasoline
By Vixen Vile, Published 1 day ago
In a stunning act of judicial rebellion, the federal appeals court has decided that President Trump's ambitious plan to turn federal agencies into his personal fiefdoms is more of a "hold your horses" than a "go forth and purge." Oh, the humanity!
Imagine the scene: Trump, in his executive lair, surrounded by his loyal, albeit confused, minions, ready to hand out pink slips like candy at a child's birthday party. But alas, the court, in a display of legal wizardry, has tossed a wrench into this otherwise smooth machine of vengeance. The only thing holding this spectacle together is a gavel and a few robes.
Now, the nation waits with bated breath to see if Trump's inner Napoleon can rally his troops for another assault on the bureaucratic fortresses or if he'll have to resort to tweeting his frustrations in ALL CAPS. One can only hope that the court's decision comes with a complimentary stress ball to manage the inevitable meltdown.
But fear not, dear readers, for this saga is far from over. If history has taught us anything, it's that when one door closes, Trump just builds a wall in front of it. Stay tuned for more thrilling episodes of "Trump vs. Reality."
