Russian Bridge Bingo: Two Collapses, Seven Dead, Border Shenanigans Ensue
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published 1 day ago
Russia's latest architectural game, "Bridge Jenga," turned into a disaster with two structures deciding they'd rather not exist anymore. Both bridges, in the neighborly regions close to Ukraine, showed their disdain for gravity, killing seven and proving once again that Russia is not just about bear wrestling and vodka.
Locals were left scratching their heads, wondering if this was a new, albeit deadly, form of diplomacy between the neighboring countries. "Maybe we should invite Ukraine over for some bridge-building instead?" quipped a local, before realizing that might be a double entendre.
The authorities scrambled, like always, offering their condolences while undoubtedly thinking about how this could possibly blame Ukraine. "It's probably Ukrainian saboteurs," they muttered to themselves, failing to acknowledge the structural integrity issues or maybe just the general chaos that seems to follow Russia like a storm cloud.
So, there we have it, folks. In a world where bridges collapse like dominoes and diplomacy is a game of "who can inconvenience the other more," seven people have paid the ultimate price for what's likely just another Tuesday in Russia's ongoing saga of "Let's Blame the Neighbors."
