Ice Agents Nab Volleyball Star, Miss Dad by a Mile
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published 1 day ago
Picture this: Marcelo Gomes Da Silva, barely old enough to vote but already on the radar of every college scout from here to Timbuktu, gets his big break-or so he thinks. Walking to volleyball practice, a sport where he leaps higher than a kangaroo on steroids, he's suddenly in a chokehold of bureaucracy.
See, ICE thought they were being slick, aiming for the dad, but ended up with a 6'2" volleyball phenom in handcuffs instead. Oh, what a poignant snapshot of modern American efficiency! Instead of serving aces, Marcelo's dishing out "I'm not my father" speeches to confused ICE agents.
And let's give a slow clap to the agency chief who defends this blunder. Because, after all, who needs precision in law enforcement when you can just throw a net over an entire family? Meanwhile, somewhere in Brazil, dad's sipping his caipirinha, chuckling at the world's most costly game of "Marco Polo."
