Minnesota Mayhem: Gunman Snags Two Politicians and Their House!
By Vixen Vile, Published 6 hours ago
Well, well, well, what do we have here? Vance Luther Boelter, a name that's already climbing the charts of notoriety faster than a one-hit-wonder pop star. Our boy Vance thought it'd be a hoot to turn his neighborhood into a real-life version of Call of Duty.
Gone are the days when political disagreements ended in spirited debate or a strongly worded letter. No, sir. Now, they end in a spray of bullets and a manhunt that would make even Bigfoot blush. It's almost as if Vance was auditioning for the role of America's most unwanted, and by golly, he's nailing it.
First up on his hit list was none other than Democrat Melissa Hortman, who, along with her husband Mark, had their political careers and lives cut short by this maverick with a gun. Two others got the privilege of being grazed by his marksmanship, because clearly, Vance wasn't just there to make a political statement; he was there to leave a literal and figurative mark.
And the cherry on top? The manhunt was so intense, you'd think they were tracking down the last unvaccinated person in LA. But, as always, the good guys in blue caught their man, proving once again that crime might pay in the short run, but in the long run, it gets you a spot on the local news and an orange jumpsuit.
