Bengals to Shemar Stewart: Here's Your Jersey, Now Let's Talk Contract!
By Blitz Baxter, Published 1 day ago
Now, folks, the Cincinnati Bengals have been hitting the panic button like it's the easy button at Staples. Shemar Stewart, the guy they picked up to make their defensive line look less like Swiss cheese, is playing hardball. He wants a contract that doesn't pay him in peanuts and promises.
The Bengals are scratching their heads harder than a monkey in a flea circus, trying to figure out how to make this work. Their latest brainwave? Throw him the team jersey with a smile and hope he forgets about the pesky little details like money.
Newsflash, Bengals, you can't expect a linebacker to be swayed by a polyester number 96 and some locker room camaraderie. It's like trying to convince a bear to go vegetarian by offering it a salad. Stewart ain't having any of that "team spirit" nonsense; he wants the green, and the green ain't the color of their uniform.
Maybe they should've tried a different approach. Instead of a jersey, how about a key to the city? Or perhaps, a promise to make him the mascot when his football career inevitably tanks? But let's be real, the Bengals and Stewart are stuck in a standoff, and the only thing that'll break it is the sound of cash registers singing.
