Kenyan Gen Z Snowflakes Throw Tantrum, President Ruto "Resigns" or Else
By Vixen Vile, Published 5 hours ago
Nothing like the sweet smell of entitlement in the morning! Nairobi's elite are at it again, waving their skinny arms in the air as if they're catching WiFi signals, demanding President William Ruto play hide and seek with his resignation papers. These "Gen Z warriors" - or should we say, the "I-want-it-and-I-want-it-now" brigade - have decided their daily latte isn't hot enough without Ruto's signature on the dotted line of history.
Picture this: parliament on fire, over 60 people sadly taking selfies with the Grim Reaper, all for the sake of a protest that makes Woodstock look like a knitting club meeting. Oh, how they march! With their meticulously crafted signs, probably made in between Instagram story updates, they call for Ruto's head on a digital platter. Maybe they think a hashtag can make democracy.
Ah, but let's not forget the real tragedy here - these protests have turned Nairobi into the new go-to destination for disaster tourism. The only thing missing is a souvenir shop selling "I survived Ruto's resignation riots" T-shirts. Because, really, what's a good uprising without a commercial spin? As for President Ruto, he's probably at home, chuckling into his kahawa, knowing that resigning is just as likely as Kenya winning Eurovision.
