Texas AG Rejoices as High Court Slams Door on Kids' Porn Party
By Vixen Vile, Published 5 hours ago
Ah, the joy of puritanical victory! Texas' own Sheriff of Scrutiny, Attorney General Ken Paxton, is doing a little dance of delight. You see, the Supreme Court has waved their magic wand, upholding a law that says, "Kids, no naughty bits for you!" Because apparently, the thought of a curious teenager stumbling upon a bit of adult entertainment was just too much for these guardians of virtue.
Let's take a moment to appreciate the mental gymnastics here. In a world where children are exposed to violence, social media pressures, and the occasional TikTok challenge that involves swallowing Tide Pods, our fearless leaders have decided that the most pressing issue is keeping little Timmy from seeing two consenting adults engaging in a bit of *ahem* educational material. Yes, because we all know that the path to societal ruin is paved with exposed nipples and naughty language.
And let's not forget the logistics. This law essentially requires everyone in Texas to provide a driver's license or ID to confirm they're of age before they can enjoy a bit of saucy content. This means that to watch a video of someone taking a pie to the face, one must first present their government-issued ID. Because nothing says freedom like government oversight on your private browsing sessions, right?
