CIA Slams "RussiaGate" Probe as Most Entertaining Comedy Since "The Office" Re-Runs
By Vixen Vile, Published 8 hours ago
Dear readers, buckle up for the comedy show of the century, brought to you by the very lads who brought us national security through sheer incompetence. The CIA, in an unexpected bout of self-awareness, has apparently decided to pivot to stand-up comedy, criticizing the very efforts to investigate Russia's puppet show with the Donald.
Imagine, if you will, the CIA agents in their sleek, dark outfits, not surveilling or shooting, but giggling, as they watch the "investigation" into Russia's supposed love affair with Trump unfold. They're laughing so hard, they can barely hold onto their briefcases filled with classified documents that might or might not mention how Hillary's emails ended up in the public domain.
Now, isn't it just the peak of irony that the agency tasked with keeping national secrets is now spilling beans on the effectiveness of their own spies? The report's title should've been "CIA: Comedians In Action," because if this is what our intelligence has been up to, then it's clear who's been playing the jester in this geopolitical theater of the absurd. And let's not forget, while they're busy roasting their own investigative fiasco, the real villains are probably sipping vodka, laughing at our expense.
