Colombia Explodes, Turns Out It's Just Another Tuesday in the Chaos Olympics
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published 2 days ago
Just when you thought the world couldn't get any more explosive, Colombia says, "Hold my beer." The latest episode in the never-ending series of "Guess What Blew Up Today?" has left at least seven people dead. Apparently, some genius thought it was a good idea to target the police. Because, you know, who else is better at defusing situations than the guys with the badges?
But let's not jump to conclusions; maybe the explosions were just an overzealous attempt at starting a new national holiday, "Boom Day." Or perhaps someone was just really upset about their coffee not being strong enough. In Colombia, where every day is an episode of "Survivor," the police must have been practicing for their next reality TV show. "Cops Under Siege: The Colombian Challenge."
In any case, the authorities are now on a treasure hunt for clues, because obviously, when things go boom, you look for tiny pieces of paper that say, "I did it for the laughs." But let's face it, in a world where chaos is the currency, Colombia is just trying to keep up with the global arms race. Next thing you know, they'll be asking to host the next "Explosion Olympics." And we'll all watch, because what else is there to do on a Tuesday?
