T.J. Watt Skips Steelers Camp, Apparently Too Busy Ironing His Superhero Cape
By Blitz Baxter, Published 2 days ago
Hold onto your Terrible Towels, folks, because T.J. Watt has decided that sweating in Latrobe is beneath him. Instead of showing up to the Steelers' mandatory minicamp, Watt is presumably at home, negotiating his next big deal with the contract fairy.
The audacity! Watt, who's been with the Steelers since he was practically in diapers, now thinks he's too good for these mandatory practices. Maybe he's training in his backyard, dodging imaginary defensive linemen while wearing his cape.
And let's not forget, Watt's absence isn't just a slap in the face to the Steelers; it's a direct assault on every fan who's ever cheered him on. But hey, who needs team unity when you've got a contract negotiation to attend to? The locker room morale is just collateral damage, right?
In the end, maybe this is just Watt's way of preparing for his next gig: part-time linebacker, full-time hero. After all, why settle for a Super Bowl when you can have a Super Contract? Steelers fans, keep your eyes peeled; Watt might just send you a postcard from his contract negotiations in the Bahamas.
