Ballymena: Where Throwing Molotov Cocktails is the New Neighborhood Watch
By Vixen Vile, Published 1 day ago
Tuesday night in Ballymena turned into the sequel nobody asked for, as rioters decided that the best way to deal with an alleged sexual assault was to channel their inner pyromaniacs. Apparently, the local police force, which probably already has their hands full with the usual Friday night drunks, was now dodging bricks and petrol bombs.
Oh, how quaint! Instead of knitting circles or book clubs, Ballymena's new community bonding exercise involves setting fire to houses and cars. It's as if the townsfolk decided to take the phrase "burning passion for justice" a tad too literally. One would think they might consider a less flammable form of protest, but where's the fun in that?
And let's not forget the masks, because clearly, these rioters are either terrified of catching the latest variant or are auditioning for a sequel to "The Purge." The irony of donning a mask to commit arson in the name of community safety is so thick, you could slice it with a Belfast knife. Meanwhile, the rest of Northern Ireland watches with a mix of horror and popcorn in hand, wondering if this will make it into the next season of "Derry Girls."
