Nation's Intellectual Elite Flees to Parks to Scream at Squirrels Instead of Trump
By Vixen Vile, Published 12 hours ago
Oh, here we go again! The nation's top minds have finally found their voice, or rather, their screech, in what must be the most effective form of protest known to man: yelling at squirrels in parks across the US. It seems that shouting "No Kings!" at a bushy-tailed rodent is the new strategy for toppling a presidency.
Apparently, these brave souls, armed with nothing but their unshakeable belief in the power of public outrage, believe they're making a statement. One can only imagine the sheer terror in the White House as the President hears about this fierce resistance from his favorite news outlet, which I'm sure isn't The Daily Jab.
But let's give credit where it's due. If standing in a park, surrounded by pigeons and the occasional lost tourist, is what it takes to bring democracy back to its former glory, then by all means, let's rally behind this ground-breaking movement. Next up, perhaps they'll take on the pigeons for their imperialistic tendencies.
