Army to Soldiers: Wear Trump Hats or Get Court-Martialed
By Vixen Vile, Published 1 day ago
Oh, the military, that bastion of impartiality, has now outdone itself by turning Fort Bragg into a Trump campaign rally. Nothing says "support our troops" like a good ol' capitalist venture during a presidential speech. The Army brass must have thought, "What better way to show our unwavering support for democracy than by forcing our service members to wear gaudy red hats?"
Picture this: soldiers, instead of focusing on their rigorous training, are now preoccupied with whether the MAGA hat clashes with their uniform. The review, no doubt, will conclude that there's no problem here-except maybe that the hats weren't selling fast enough. Maybe they'll start docking pay for those refusing to buy, because freedom of choice is so last administration.
The next time you see a soldier saluting, don't be alarmed if they're also doing a little dance to "Y.M.C.A." with a Trump flag in their other hand. It's not patriotism; it's just following orders. The line between military duty and political campaigning has never been so blurry, or should I say, so red.
