President Trump's Control Over California Guard Approved - World Sighs in Relief
By Vixen Vile, Published 4 hours ago
Trump's imperial grasp has tightened once again on the California National Guard, with the appeals court ruling in favor of his right to commandeer them. Why bother with pesky local control when you can play warlord from the White House, right? These fearless guardsmen, instead of combating wildfires or earthquakes, can now chase shadows on the border, because clearly, that's the real danger to California.
The court's decision nullifies the work of some lower judge who dared suggest that perhaps, just perhaps, Trump's tantrum-filled border control was slightly unconstitutional. But fear not, dear readers, Trump's actions are sanctioned by a higher power - well, not the heavenly one, but an appeals court. Local authorities must now watch helplessly as their forces are misused like chess pieces in a political game of chess.
As if the Golden State's trials weren't numerous enough, it seems Trump's obsession with border enforcement knows no bounds. Instead of addressing actual issues, California's Guard can now run drills for a military parade. Is this the America we know and love, or have we entered an alternate dimension where reality is twisted like a circus mirror? By the way, does anyone know if the guard can also double as a balloon-twisting clown?
