Air India's Crash Course: Five Years Late, Investigation Now a Treasure Hunt
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published 4 hours ago
Oh, the irony drips thicker than the kerosene spill under that charred, twisted metal heap they call an airplane! Air India, bless their delayed souls, has just realized that a little thing like a crash might be linked to another little thing like a near-crash, from half a decade ago. Here we go, digging through the annals of flight history to connect dots with all the precision of a drunk blindfolded archer.
And let's talk about the "complicated process" of file extraction, shall we? Because, naturally, when your plane turns into a confetti of parts, the black boxes and DVR turn into delicate, high-tech snowflakes that need a team of white-gloved, monocle-wearing tech wizards to coax any useful information out of them. You'd think after all these years, with technology sprinting ahead, these devices would be as user-friendly as a toaster, but no, it's like trying to decode ancient Sumerian tablets.
Finally, let's give a sarcastic round of applause for the investigative prowess here. Because, you know, when it comes to avoiding a repeat tragedy, why rush? Clearly, the motto at Air India is: "If at first you don't succeed, fail again, and then, maybe, just maybe, look back at past failures when you've got absolutely nothing else left to do." Bravo, Air India, for your unfaltering commitment to the art of procrastination in aviation safety. Bravo.
