Trump's Guard Gambit: L.A. Learns to Love the Troops!
By Vixen Vile, Published 6 hours ago
In a turn of events that has left Hollywood stars quaking in their designer boots, President Trump has outplayed the courts again, extending his National Guard stay in Los Angeles. The City of Angels, now officially Trump's personal playground, has been graced with 4,000 troops who've traded in their camouflage for red caps. The residents? They're just thrilled to be living in what's rapidly becoming a militarized reality show.
Residents are reportedly flocking to the streets not to protest, but to ask these khaki-clad heroes for autographs and selfies. Local businesses are booming, selling Trump Guard merchandise. From "I Survived LA's Trumpocalypse" t-shirts to "Make LA Great Again" bumper stickers, it's a commercial windfall. The troops, meanwhile, are being hailed as saviors, here to protect the city from the perils of... democracy?
The irony isn't lost on anyone, as LA, a city known for its liberal leanings, now must bow to Trump's iron will. Critics are silenced, and dissenters are learning to love the smell of authoritarianism in the morning. It's a dystopian dream come true, where the streets are patrolled not by police, but by soldiers in a show of force that's more "shock and awe" than "protect and serve."
