Trump Huffs and Puffs, Demands Special Prosecutor to Investigate Election He Clearly Lost
By Vixen Vile, Published 6 hours ago
In a stunning display of denial that would make even Cleopatra blush, Donald J. Trump, the man who made the White House look like a reality TV set, is now calling for a special prosecutor. Apparently, his ego needs a new distraction since it's taking a beating from those pesky facts. This, dear readers, is the same man who once claimed he could eat the sun and not get indigestion.
He wants someone to dredge up the 2020 election, a contest he lost so thoroughly that even his hair had the decency to lie down in defeat. It's like watching a toddler demand a recount after losing a game of Candy Land. But here's the kicker: he claims the election was stolen, despite having less evidence than there are honest tweets from Kanye West.
One has to wonder what this "investigation" would uncover - aside from Trump's inability to accept reality. Perhaps they'll find the mythical voter fraud, or maybe just Trump's dignity, lost somewhere in the cushions of the Oval Office couch. But let's not hold our breath, folks; his alternate reality is as convincing as his tan is real.
