Rescue Operations: Because Nature's a Bigger Jerk Than Your Ex
By Cynic Cosmo Creed, Published 5 hours ago
In the grand theater of nature, where rocks have more of a say than any politician, the Bow Glacier Falls played host to a spectacular display of geological betrayal. Two hikers, clearly overestimating their bond with Mother Earth, met an untimely end when a rockfall decided it was time to reclaim its territory. Three others were injured, likely because they thought a scenic hike was a good idea.
Now, rescue teams are scouring the area, probably wondering why people think hiking is a good time. It's not like the rocks give you a heads up before they decide to relocate. "Hiking: A New Form of Extreme Sport Where the Mountain Might Just Win" could be the next big travel slogan.
Of course, the local authorities are putting on a brave face, talking about safety measures and all that jazz. But let's be real, the only safety measure that works with a mountain is not to be there when it decides to sneeze rocks. Meanwhile, back in civilization, we'll toast to the hikers' misfortune with our safe, indoor drinks, marveling at the audacity of those who thought they could just walk on by without an appointment.
