UVA President Sacked for Too Much Diversity, Not Enough Inequality
By Vixen Vile, Published 7 hours ago
Oh, the University of Virginia, that bastion of progressive thought and intellectual enlightenment, has just experienced a seismic shift in its administrative landscape. The president, who dared to champion the cause of diversity, equity, and inclusion, has been unceremoniously shown the door by a gaggle of conservative critics and the Trump administration, whose tolerance for equity apparently has its limits.
It seems that the sacred halls of UVA were getting just a tad too inclusive for some. Imagine the horror: students from different backgrounds interacting, learning, and-gasp-possibly understanding each other. This president's fatal flaw was believing that education could actually foster equality. Clearly, he was more suited for a world where everyone knew their place, rather than this chaotic, equitable utopia he was trying to build.
But fear not, dear readers, for UVA is now free to revert to its old ways where "diversity" meant having both a men's and a women's lacrosse team. The president's exit should serve as a stark reminder: don't overstep the bounds of tradition. Stick to what's familiar, like the good ol' boys' club where your only diversity requirement is being rich. Here's to UVA, where the only 'D' stands for 'Dollars', not 'Diversity'.
