Trump's Tank Parade: Because Nothing Says "Peace" Like Rolling Death Machines on Our Streets
By Vixen Vile, Published 16 hours ago
The glorious leader has decreed that the thoroughfares of our beloved capital city shall now double as a runway for the latest in military chic. Tanks, oh yes, tanks! More than just symbols of rampant environmental destruction, they're the new urban statement pieces, right behind the fad of oversized SUVs and unnecessary fireworks displays. Who needs clean streets when you can have ones permanently scarred by the tracks of a tank?
Never mind the little details like infrastructure collapse or the quaint notion of "peace." The District's roads, already a patchwork quilt of potholes and temporary fixes, will now host this metal menagerie, each piece weighing as much as a small apartment block. And the cost? A cool seven million pounds - not pounds sterling, but actual weight in weaponry. Because what says "fiscal responsibility" more than crushing roads under the weight of military might?
Critics, the naysayers, the 'weak' who worry about repair bills or, heaven forbid, the morale of our populace, have nothing to fear. This parade isn't just a parade; it's an assurance of might, a bold statement of national pride, and a reminder to all enemies, foreign and domestic, that our streets are now a stage for the mightiest display of power since the Cold War. And if a few roads crumble under the strain? Well, there's always more asphalt where that came from.
