NASA's Newest Chief Plots to Dismantle Space Dreams, One Tweet at a Time
By Vixen Vile, Published 12 hours ago
The self-proclaimed space janitor, Janet Petro, has just been appointed to clean up the stars. Not content with Earthly messes, she's now set her sights on the cosmos, promising to "take back" space as if it were a rebellious teenager. Petro's grand plan? To "involve" the public by tweeting from her new office in a spacesuit, pretending she's ready for a spacewalk, while probably just rearranging coffee mugs.
Her first decree from the space throne is to "make it work - for you," a nebulous promise that's about as clear as the vacuum of space itself. Expect her to rally the masses with social media campaigns, urging you to "Take it back" by sending in your suggestions for what to do with Mars, because who doesn't want their tax dollars spent on building the Martian equivalent of a McDonald's?
And let's not forget the fine print: "This is not a NASA website." No, it's more like Janet's personal space blog, where instead of exploring the universe, we'll be exploring the depths of bureaucratic ineptitude. So, strap in, folks, as we're about to witness the great space cleanup where the only thing being launched is a new wave of administrative paperwork.
